“Can you blame me?” – Tariq Luthun
I know that I will one day abandon my child
& don’t we all know or choose when death
comes for us? I know there is a lover who
could love me longer in some part of this continent
or another. She will love me & a moment later I will leave
her too. Or maybe she will hurt me. It’s always one way
or the other with pain (the aimless thing). I know
that drinking black milk tea, caffeinated comfort,
before bed leads to violent dreams before I wake.
In those restless sleeps, I am usually
fighting those I love most. Often, it’s a pair
of cats, creatures I adore with even
the fleshy wall of my heart. I see them, fangs bared.
Tonight I am young, still, and would sacrifice
any future for a taste of love. I have seen
wet earth turn slippery just after rain,
knowing a composition of violence doesn’t often make
for good melody.
The music: gray rainy days, which tend to meld
earth & sky & push humans and turn humans,
these holy unholy twirling dervishes,
fabric flailing and cutting air.
Huzaifa Malik is a Pakistani-American poet and writer raised across multiple countries. He is studying comparative literature at The Pennsylvania State University but is also still trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life. He enjoys writing and sharing poetry that presents his emotions honestly and fully, exploring themes of love and immigrant identity. His favorite poets include Agha Shahid Ali and Li-Young Lee. His work is also forthcoming in Kalliope.