by Ava Ferriero
Growing up, I loved watching Disney Channel. Name any show, and I can assure you that I have likely seen it and was obsessed with it. Because of this, I wanted to be just like the actresses I watched on television. Specifically, I strived to be like Demi Lovato in Camp Rock. Her character, Mitchie Torres, was a singer and songwriter, a talent seven-year-old me wished I had.
Not only did I desperately want to be an actress, but I also wanted to be a rock star like Mitchie. The idea of having a talent and being able to show it off to the world intrigued me. The concept of being known, and being an inspiration to people across the country is something I have always (and still do) yearn for.
I think this Idea stems from my need for validation. I always wished to have a talent that would make me loved worldwide, and I craved validation that, despite being untalented, I was still special.
Having fans would make me feel seen. I did not want to be just another person in the world, I wanted to be known and a role model to people.
However, as I grew up, my mom started to say, “you need a plan B, sweetie,” to ease the pain when I found out that being a rockstar is completely unrealistic. I wished my mom would put me in singing lessons growing up. My grandpa had tried to convince her, but she obviously thought it would be a waste of money. She was right. I was not going to be the next Mitchie Torres. I accepted that. The pain of reality hit me, but it was bound to happen at some point.
I did hold on to this unrealistic dream for a while because I thought it was my only chance at becoming influential. The more I let go, the less motivated I became. Considering I felt talentless, I did not think I had any chance to become someone special. I accepted the reality that I would just become another person. That is what
scares me most- having no impact.
Slowly though, I discovered a passion within me, and it was writing. Senior year of high school I started writing about anything and everything. My parents started to recognize my work showing their friends and family members. I became known as the writer of the family, which changed me.
The dream of influence has leaked into my current passion of broadcast journalism. I see my younger self shining through when I explain my newfound dream of being a NBC news reporter, or a Today Show Host. In this field, I can use my talent of writing and interviewing to inspire people across the world. So I guess, in a sense, I still get to be a rockstar.
Additionally, I started a social media platform that currently has 5k followers. I am making my way up by creating a community of people who understand me. I am making a difference by tapping into my passions, not Mitchie Torres’.
Overall, I came to the conclusion that instead of reaching to become someone I am not, something I spent my whole childhood doing, I need to focus on who I am. By doing this, I can gain all the impact and influence desire.