A man exits the building’s main entrance. It’s early evening, and it’s pouring rain outside.
“Dan!” shouts another man coming down the stairs in a rush.
Dan rolls his eyes as the man stands next to him under the rain cover.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“I’m leaving, Jay,” Dan responds.
“No!” Jayden takes Dan’s hand, gripping it frantically. “I don’t want you to leave.”
The rain intensifies and starts to ripple with a gust of cold wind.
“I’m tired of this. I wanna go home. You can send the clothes that I have at your place back to my apartment, or you can just keep them, I don’t care.” Dan pulls back his hand and turns away from Jayden.
“What about our New York trip next week? We can still talk this over,” Jayden says.
“I don’t give a shit about the trip! I’ll cancel the train tickets even if I don’t get my money back.”
“Dan, calm down, let’s talk, please. Don’t close yourself up.”
“Jay, the last thing I want right now is to talk about this over and over again, and I don’t have time to talk. I already ordered my Uber, and it’s arriving soon.”
Jayden stands, stunned and silent. All they can hear is the relentless rain, the shush of car tires through the water pooling at the curb, waves of it lapping up onto the sidewalk. It threatens to surge all the way up to where the two men stand, to pull them down and under.
Jayden sighs. “At least put on my jacket so you don’t get too cold,” he says, worried about Dan. “I’m going back up to grab another jacket, wait for me here please.”
Jayden runs inside the building and rushes up the stairs, almost falling over. Dan looks over at the glass door, as he turns his back, and starts walking out in the rain.
He is too nervous to deal with this situation, but the rain helps by cooling him down. He takes a deep breath as his shoulders relax and his body starts to shiver. Walking downtown feels kind of nice. The neon lights are starting to turn on, and the reflection against the drips of water make it seem as if he is in a movie scene. The cold makes him wish for a cigarette.
His face is dripping wet. He stops walking, waiting for his Uber to arrive. His eyes slowly close as he moves his chin up to the sky, rain streaming down his face.
“Thank you, sky, for crying with me,” Dan says out loud.
As he opens his eyes, he looks back toward car headlights, which illuminate his face. Dan puts his hand up to cover the dazzling light. The Uber arrives. From the distance, he can hear rushed steps on the sidewalk.
Dan leans forward to talk to the driver.
“Uber?” he asks, and the driver nods.
Dan opens the car door as Jayden catches up to him.
“Please don’t leave! I can’t let you disappear from my life,” says Jayden, loud enough to be heard through the heavy rain.
The sky starts turning from a navy blue to a gray tone as the rain gets louder and louder.
“I can’t just wait around for you to decide what you want!” Dan screams, as he turns his back to the car.
“I just need a little more time!” shouts Jayden.
“And I have given you that. This is all the time I have! I’m right here, Jay!”
They both stand quietly, breathing heavily and looking into each other’s eyes.
“When will you stop running from yourself?” Dan asks, “When will you stop hiding who you are?”
The constant rain crashing on the sidewalk fills the silence between them, until finally Dan confronts Jayden: “If you loved me, you wouldn’t need time to think about it.”
“What am I supposed to do? What about my family?” Jayden asks.
“What about us, Jayden? You are so unsure of yourself! Look at the stuff you are saying. What about them? They are your FAMILY. If they love you, they won’t care, and if they do care, you would still have me,” Dan says. He nods his head. “I didn’t wanna get in this cab.”
The rain finally slows for the first time in that evening, now just barely loud enough to make its presence noticeable.
“Just stop for a second,” says Jayden as he looks down. His body is shaking, and Dan can tell that he is nervous and anxious, thinking of what he should do next. His sigh sounds like a million “I’m sorry’s”. Dan knows his partner too well; he can tell that he is frustrated and regrets pushing him away. Jayden takes a step forward as Dan looks up.
“You’re right. I’m done running from myself. I have been overthinking so much about this scenario in my head, that I’m scared to even try,” Jay says. “I love you. I have always loved you. Even when we were just friends walking around at night talking for hours. It has always been you. I know that no matter what, I will always have you. And I want to be there for you.”
They hug each other, strongly holding their grip on each other’s bodies to avoid letting go.
The sound of the rain gets louder and louder. They put their heads on each other’s shoulders. Jayden’s lips start moving, and no one but Dan can tell what he is saying because of the incessant noise of the heavy rain.
As tears flow from his eyes, Dan nods in agreement and speaks back, then shifts his forehead to his partner’s shoulder.
“What is said under the rain, and cannot be heard, will always stay between us.”
Dan takes a step back to look at Jay. Rain and sweat combined, making his face glow below the neon lights of downtown. He steps forward and kisses Jay, hoping the moment will last forever, and that all their problems will go unnoticed.
But he knows that these moments will be lost, like tears in the rain.
“I’m glad you were able to take this off your chest, Jayden. But I…I need some time alone. I’ve waited too long, hiding behind you. Now, I think it’s time to focus on me. I wish you the best Jay, and I love you, but I can’t be with you right now. Goodbye.”
Dan turns his back and enters the Uber. The door slams closed, and all Jayden can see is his own reflection in the car’s dark window.
In the cold rain, now slowly ceasing, Jayden watches the Uber as it drives down the street and out of sight. For the first time, he feels lonely in this relationship, a feeling Jayden once caused Dan, but now is his turn to experience.
He stands on the sidewalk, alone, looking at the horizon of the street, hoping to see the car turn back.
Editor’s Note:
Italicized line is a quote from the film “Blade Runner.”
Follow Thiago Rego on Instagram: @thiago.luperi